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Tell me about your most difficult working relationship
Asked at:
Meta
Oracle
What is this question about
Interviewers want to see how you navigate sustained friction with someone you had to keep working with. They are probing for self-awareness, empathy, diagnosis of root causes, and whether you can improve outcomes without burning bridges. They also look for judgment on when to set boundaries or escalate and whether you turned a difficult dynamic into a durable, healthier way of working.
Key Insights
- Conflict doesn’t need to be emotional; it’s often misaligned incentives, constraints, or risk tolerance. Name those explicitly and show how you tested your hypotheses.
- Honest ownership of your contribution is a fast signal of maturity. Defensiveness or character attacks on the other person are fast red flags.
- Pick a consequential relationship and emphasize mechanisms (working agreements, cadences, decision records) and measurable outcomes, not just anecdotes.
What interviewers probe atlevel
Top Priority
Translate 'we don't get along' into concrete mismatches you can act on.
Good examples
🟢Our time zones overlapped 1 hour, so async was critical; lack of clear acceptance criteria made that hour contentious.
🟢They preferred synchronous pairing; I preferred heads-down blocks—so we agreed on two scheduled sessions and async checklists.
Bad examples
🔴We had different personalities; they were just abrasive.
🔴He didn't care about quality like I do.
Strong answers point to specific, tractable causes; weak ones rely on character judgments.
Start small: clarify expectations, communicate proactively, seek mentorship.
Good examples
🟢I set a recurring 15-minute sync to align on definitions of done and demo tiny increments.
🟢I asked a senior to shadow our next code review and we agreed on a review checklist.
Bad examples
🔴I avoided them and asked someone else to take over the tasks.
🔴I sent longer messages hoping they'd get it.
Weak avoids or floods; strong sets simple routines and enlists help.
Valuable
Show a small measurable improvement and what you’d do next time.
Good examples
🟢PR turnaround dropped from 3 days to same-day after we agreed on 200-line caps and checklists.
🟢I asked for feedback a month later; they said my summaries made collaborating easier.
Bad examples
🔴It stayed awkward, but we finished the sprint somehow.
🔴I don't know if it helped; we moved teams.
Weak is vague or unresolved; strong shows concrete improvement and feedback.
Try direct dialogue first; escalate with context and solutions.
Good examples
🟢I asked for a 1:1, shared specific examples, and if unresolved, I brought my lead a summary with options.
🟢I set a quiet-hours block and negotiated response times so I could focus.
Bad examples
🔴I reported them to my manager without talking to them because they annoyed me.
🔴I agreed to all requests and burned out.
Weak either tattles or over-accommodates; strong balances directness with respectful boundaries.
Question Timeline
See when this question was last asked and where, including any notes left by other candidates.
Early October, 2025
Meta
Mid-level
Late September, 2025
Meta
Senior
Mid September, 2025
Meta
Staff
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