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Tell me about a time you had a conflict with a coworker. How did you resolve it?
Asked at:
Meta
Amazon
Apple
Datadog
What is this question about
Interviewers are assessing your judgment, emotional intelligence, and ability to turn disagreement into a productive outcome. They want to see whether you identify underlying interests, take ownership for your part, communicate directly and respectfully, and land on a solution that improves both the work and the relationship. At higher levels, they’re also checking if you can balance broader organizational tradeoffs and create durable fixes.
Key Insights
- Conflict doesn’t need to be emotional; it’s often misaligned incentives, constraints, or risk tolerance differences. Name and probe those explicitly.
- Own your contribution. Crisp acknowledgment of what you could have done differently is a strong maturity signal; defensiveness is a red flag.
- Show the full loop: how you diagnosed, tested options, chose a path, and left things better (process, norms, trust), not just that you "won" an argument.
What interviewers probe atlevel
Top Priority
Show you reflected on your impact and sought to understand the other person’s perspective.
Good examples
🟢I realized I opened the PR late on Friday and didn’t provide context. I apologized and asked how to make review easier; I added tests and a summary.
🟢I asked what concerns they had; turns out my change affected their on-call. I proposed a staged rollout during their low-traffic window.
Bad examples
🔴They were blocking for no reason, so I cc’d their manager to put pressure on them.
🔴I was right about the bug and told them to just fix it since it was their code.
Weak assigns blame and escalates prematurely; strong owns their part and adapts to the other person’s constraints.
Valuable
Aim for a win-win and keep collaborating smoothly afterward.
Good examples
🟢We set expectations for future reviews and I asked for feedback on my PRs; our next collaboration was smoother.
🟢We agreed to do quick huddles before large changes; we’ve had fewer surprises since.
Bad examples
🔴I got my way, but we don’t really talk now unless we have to.
🔴They apologized, so I dropped it and avoided working with them later.
Weak leaves friction unresolved; strong invests in the ongoing relationship.
Start with direct, respectful 1:1s and only escalate after trying to resolve locally.
Good examples
🟢I set up a quick 1:1 to clear the air, shared my intent, and we agreed on next steps before involving others.
🟢When we were stuck, I asked my mentor to shadow a discussion and help us pick a forum for a quick decision.
Bad examples
🔴I argued in the group chat and tagged senior folks to weigh in immediately.
🔴I avoided the person after a tense review and just waited for someone else to decide.
Weak either escalates publicly or avoids; strong chooses private, timely, and proportional communication.
Balance competing org priorities and craft solutions that reduce total cost of ownership.
Good examples
🟢I created a shared platform with clear APIs and migration support, minimizing adoption friction across teams.
🟢I designed an optional adapter path to avoid blocking critical roadmaps while converging long-term.
Bad examples
🔴I centralized a service under my team to move faster, despite others lacking context.
🔴I insisted on a hard dependency that risked multiple roadmaps.
Weak consolidates control; strong creates leverage and choice for the org.
Close the loop with a small process or doc that avoids repeat misunderstandings.
Good examples
🟢I added a README section and checklist for similar changes so future PRs don’t surprise reviewers.
🟢I created a brief runbook entry and shared it in the team channel.
Bad examples
🔴We moved on after the fix; I didn’t think to write anything down.
🔴I updated my code but didn’t communicate changes beyond the PR.
Weak treats it as a one-off; strong leaves a breadcrumb for the next person.
Suggest small, safe tests or examples to move from opinions to evidence.
Good examples
🟢I added a micro-benchmark and shared the results; when it underperformed, we iterated together on a better approach.
🟢We tried the UI behind a feature flag for internal users and used feedback to decide.
Bad examples
🔴I said my approach was faster but didn’t show any proof and asked them to trust me.
🔴We argued about a UI change, so I just shipped it to prove my point.
Weak asserts without evidence; strong uses small experiments and accepts results.
Question Timeline
See when this question was last asked and where, including any notes left by other candidates.
Mid November, 2025
Meta
Senior Manager
Mid November, 2025
Meta
Senior
Early November, 2025
Meta
Mid-level
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